


And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go.

by be_a_rebel



Category: White Collar
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Genderswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-23
Updated: 2010-06-23
Packaged: 2017-10-10 06:04:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/be_a_rebel/pseuds/be_a_rebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neal has to admit however, that being a woman, however temporarily, is a truly unique experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Contains a **non-con/dub-con** moment. Please tread carefully.  
> Disclaimer: I wish I owned White Collar. I really, really wish I did.  
> A/N: Title from Dr.Seuss.

Neal's had a lot of strange experiences in his life. It's never been an ordinary one. He's pretended to be a sou chef, a body guard, a hair dresser, a model, a musician (which he is), a writer (which he is not) and perhaps most memorably, a pimp.

Alex still hasn't forgiven him for that one.

He has to admit however, that being a woman, however temporarily, is a truly unique experience.

*

Elizabeth coddles him. Which is as expected. It's not like Cruz is going to lend him a bra and teach him how to fasten it.

He has experience taking bras off. Not so much with putting them on. That's for other people.

She's ridiculously nice about it all, calms him down, not that he was freaking out that much.

Neal's a calm guy. Except if Kate's involved. Everything else comes easy to him.

There is something rather hilarious about wearing Elizabeth Burke's bra. He can't wait to see Peter's face when he gets home.

Peter does not let him down. Mouth like a gasping fish indeed.

Maybe Neal shouldn't have come down without a shirt on.

It takes ten minutes to calm him down.

Neal has to take safe harbour upstairs to stop himself from passing out from curbed laughter.

He lingers on the steps.

Not eavesdropping. Neal doesn't eavesdrop. He just listens carefully.

"It's ridiculous isn't it? He's as gorgeous as a woman as he was as a man." Elizabeth's voice is quiet, amused. He doesn't hear Peter's reply.

*

It's very…interesting being a woman. Underwear is softer. Clothes are tighter.

He turns a lot more heads.

Neal's an attractive guy. He's used to getting stared at. But this is a whole new dimension.

Men stop and look back, they smile, they give him space to walk by.

Taxis stop more quickly.

Being a woman is frankly, kind of fantastic.

He decides to check out the plumbing the first night. Elizabeth begs him to stay over but he refuses, kindly, politely.

He's really fond of Elizabeth but he's pretty sure he's freaking Peter out. Really badly.

June is away, thankfully, and he's on his bed before he realizes it. He undresses, and yeah, his breasts are amazing, he can understand Peter's confusion.

Not exactly the right time to think about Peter.

Of course from Peter, his mind goes to Elizabeth. Which isn't wise, he's pretty sure he isn't supposed to think about Peter's wife while he masturbates but Kate equals pain right now and he wants to get wet fast.

He considers porn for a moment but can't make himself get off the bed and grab his laptop.

Elizabeth it is. He grins to himself, imagining Peter's face. He thinks of El, with her soft mouth that's kissed his cheek, and breasts which really are wonderful and…

It takes longer than he thought. He's not getting wet easily, just little twinges and touching his clit (his clit, Christ) actually hurts because he's so dry. He considers the internet again for a moment but no, he's done this before without actual visual aids and this can work, it can. He just needs to think about something more animalistic, more visceral, like licking Elizabeth's clit, delving his tongue into her cunt, biting her thigh while she clutches his hair, while Peter touches his neck.

He comes on the edge of a shout.

Well, that was unexpected.

*

He tries to logic it out. He has a pussy now, strange as that is and of course it wants sex with men.

Unless Neal is a lesbian which is what he'd assumed at first.

Or maybe it's the fact that he always thinks of Peter and Elizabeth as a single unit, and he can't separate the two in his mind. It's Peter and Elizabeth and Elizabeth and Peter.

Or it's guilt over thinking of Elizabeth in that fashion.

He snorts at the idea.

It was just a touch on the neck. It's not as if he imagined kissing Peter or anything beyond that.

Heaven forbid. Peter would probably lie down and die.

He decides to go shopping and ends up wearing a Dolce and Gabbana suit to the office.

He sticks with pants. He's not ready for skirts yet, however much he may like being a woman.

Jones' eyebrows disappear into his head. It's all pretty amusing. Peter turns red but is his gruff self in a matter of moments.

It's strange how little things actually change. Within an hour he's being threatened with a return to prison.

The only difference is that Peter looks dazed when Neal smiles.

*

He has dinner with Peter's wife. She admires the suit, makes him turn around and show it off.

He keeps waiting for Peter to show up, but he never does. He wants to ask the question but keeps getting distracted by her wrists.

He's always been a big fan of wrists.

Peter has a fine, upstanding wrist. It's one of Neal's favourite things about him.

El has tiny, gorgeous wrists. He wants to lick the underside of one, the part rubbed raw by typing.

It takes him a moment to realize he's staring. It takes him a moment to realize he's aroused.

Elizabeth doesn't mock him or raise her eyebrows at him. She just smiles, like she knows exactly what he's thinking.

*

They wrap up a case and go drinking.

And of course, Neal misjudges his alcohol tolerance.

That's a lie. He just felt the need to get drunk. Neal never misjudges anything.

He had lunch with El and she touched his arm thirteen times and held his hand because he's a fucking woman now and it's permissible and he doesn't know how to tell Peter that his wife makes him wet, her fucking voice makes him wet and he's really like it if Peter would just let him eat her out. Once. That's all he needs.

He decides to drink instead.

And obviously, Peter, his knight in shining armour helps him home and unlocks his door for him and helps him reach his bed without falling over.

His watch catches on Peter's coat and there's this moment when they're caught together and Peter is totally looking down his shirt.

Neal slaps him. Peter's face is hilarious. Neal has to turn his face into his pillow to muffle his cries of laughter.

Peter is apologizing, his face as red as a tomato and Neal is absolutely dying from laughter right now and wants to call El because she will love this, considering her twisted sense of humour and this moment is just far too priceless to be kept to himself.

Peter stutters to a stop eventually.

Neal sits up and hugs him, and wow, he's drunk and holds on because Peter is the one sure thing in his life, since apparently even his gender can change, and if he hangs on to Peter long enough, he's pretty sure everything will be okay.

"It's cool buddy. I've checked out Elizabeth's breasts tons of times." Peter stiffens under him.

He really hadn't meant to say that. He's totally playing the drunk card.

At least Peter can't punch him while he's a woman.

*

Lunch with Elizabeth the next day is a tad awkward.

"So you like my breasts?" That's El for you, no preamble.

Fucking Burkes and their fucking honest marriage. His headache gets worse.

"Eliz-a-beth." Long drawn out, giving himself time to think. "A man would not be a man if he did not admire your inescapable beauty."

She's laughing at him. He releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding. They're okay.

*

Peter spends three days talking to his hair. On the fourth day, Neal lies to him to get Mozz out of a scrape and embarrassment is replaced by fury. Peter's hand is tight around his arm, tight enough to bruise and he's red with anger. And mistrust.

They're pressed close, Peter's coat pressed against Neal's shirt and Peter smells like God awful cologne and Elizabeth and onion rings and Neal wants to shiver a little and maybe lick his neck and _where the fuck_ did that even come from.

Peter's eyes fall to his mouth mid-sentence and they are just standing there for a moment, suspended and Neal just wants Peter to stick his hands down his pants because apparently this female body is _insane_.

Peter looks at him like he knows exactly what Neal's thinking and maybe that's a fucking Burke trait or Peter just knows him that well, and his knowledge of Neal makes breasts irrelevant.

Peter reaches out and slides one finger down Neal's chin, dead centre to his throat and stops where his first button starts.

Neal can't keep his eyes open. Peter's hand is tight on Neal's hip and he doesn't know how it got there because he can't fucking think, he knows arousal but this something else, it's beyond arousal and approaching insanity.

Peter's mouth touches his breast and that's it, that sets him off and someone gasps loudly, pathetically and he knows it's him.

Peter is across the room in an instant and Neal knows that whatever happened is now over and they're going to do what they always do, pretend it was never there in the first place.

*

He cancels lunch with Elizabeth. He cancels dinner with her. He sends her a text telling her he's at a party/with friends/eating dinner with June.

He doesn't look at Peter and Peter doesn't look at him. They talk at each other, not to each other and Jones is confused and Cruz is knowing.

It takes Elizabeth two days before she shows up at his door.

"He told me what happened." That's El, no preamble.

He feels himself flush, to his own horror and she's grinning again but he doesn't know if he's safe or. Or what.

She makes him sit beside her, hand reassuring on his shoulder. He tries not to think about the ways he's imagined her touching him, the kisses he's thought of, lips against her neck and her arms. He tries not to think about her husband.

Last night he thought about Peter's fingers inside him and came in 42 seconds. It's a record.

She turns quiet and serious and questions and cajoles and Neal finds himself unable to prevaricate or lie or spin.

He finds himself telling her everything.

*

They end up holding hands on the Burkes' couch, waiting for Peter to come home. Neal is nervous, for the first time in a long time and El is squeezing his fingers tightly every five minutes as if he'll bolt.

He wants to. He wants to run because this is Peter and he's Neal's friend, perhaps his only real friend and Neal fears him and respects him and hates him a little sometimes. Just a little. But it's there and somehow Neal wants him too and he isn't used to that kind of complexity, he prefers to avoid it.

There's the sound of a key in the lock and El's fingers tighten and he knows she won't let him go, she'll keep him here until he fixes everything, until she knows Peter is okay because she's that kind of wife, the kind Kate could never have been.

Peter steps inside and stops, staring at them. Neal stares right back.

El reaches out and kisses Neal.

She's soft and warm and quietly dangerous, all at the same time, and he can feel her warning him, because Elizabeth Burke is kind and caring but she's also possessive and vindictive and she loves her husband very much.

He cups her breast and she bites his lip and this is so much better than he'd imagined. When he looks up, Peter has settled into a chair across from them and his eyebrows are daring Neal.

Neal never could turn down a challenge.

Elle's shirt ends up wrapped around her wrists and she's making odd gulping sounds as Neal bites her nipples through her bra, distracting her from the pain by pressing a thumb against her clit, soft and damp through her underwear. He tugs them down while her eyes are shut and looks at Peter, whose mouth is open and whose fingers are clenched on his knees, sharp through terrible trousers.

Peter nods.

Neal gets to it. He pushes her back, skirt above her thighs and licks her fast, fingers inside her, tongue pressing along every few seconds, when he can spare her clit. She's loud now, and he wants her hands in his hair and next time, next time he'll make sure she isn't tied up, even though her current helplessness is making him wetter, he's pretty sure he's made his pants wet.

It doesn't take long for her to come. She sobs, almost and Neal is proud of himself.

There's a hand on his shoulder before he can move, pulling him up and turning him around and pressing him against the arm of the couch. Peter is shaking and Neal is proud of that too, this is the first time he's really gotten to Peter, made him lose it.

Peter's fingers are harsh on Neal's pant buttons and Neal wants to protest, because these are expensive pants goddamnit except that Peter is touching him through his underwear and he gets it, he finally fucking gets it. This is what he's been waiting for.

He's the one making that keening sound.

His pants are around his ankles and his underwear soon follows and he can't wait, he can't wait, and El is watching her husband wide eyed as he grips Neal's knees and licks his clit.

Peter eats Neal out in a way that Neal has never eaten a woman out. He isn't precise or concentrated or clinical.

He doesn't stop to take a breath. He is relentless, as if he's going to make Neal come five times in ten minutes and oh God, if that's what he's planning Neal isn't sure he can stop him.

He isn't sure he can survive it.

He comes biting his lips to stop the screams but Peter doesn't stop, he doesn't even pause and tears are leaking from Neal's eyes because he's too fucking sensitive and he tries to fight Peter, tries to sit up but Peter's fingers tighten on Neal's thighs and Peter isn't letting him go. Not now.

Maybe never.

On the third orgasm Neal actually screams. His voice is hoarse and he's sobbing now because Peter is killing him and he can't, he can't take anymore and El grabs his hand and pulls him into her arms and he pants into her shoulder, legs tangled.

It takes him a minute to pull himself together enough to look up at Peter.

Peter's mouth is wet and red and Neal has to fight himself to stop himself from shutting his eyes at the sight because Peter is still fully dressed and he hasn't come yet and Neal doesn't know where he's found the control. He holds out his hand and Peter comes to them, right in the middle, where he's always been, their connecting factor and El is pulling down his pants while he groans against Neal's cheek and Neal is kissing him and it is dirty and angry and everything.

El is on her knees and taking Peter into her mouth in a flash and Neal is inexplicably jealous watching her and insanely turned on as well because she has quite a mouth on her and Kate could never take it that far. He's met few women who could.

When he turns his head Peter is staring at him, awe struck almost and it takes him a moment to realize that that's the way Peter always looks at him when he solves a case or discovers something Peter couldn't figure out himself.

He's surprised it's taken him so long to notice this.

He wants to take El's place and he wants to watch Peter fuck her and he wants Peter to fuck him.

And when he's back to being himself, he wants to press Peter against a wall and push a number of fingers inside him and follow it with his cock and get Peter to make the kind of sounds he's making for his wife right now.

Neal smiles against Peter's mouth. He figures he's got the time to figure it all out.


End file.
